craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She bit a glass in half.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
