just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
