there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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