Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
