Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
