Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
