Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
