the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
