Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
