she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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