similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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