I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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