Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
