Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
