Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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