Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
