Dual....:-)
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize