Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
