why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
