Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize