marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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