She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
