Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
