You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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