put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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