Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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