Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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