drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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