Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
