champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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