So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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