You're completely useless in the revolution.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
