He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
