if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
