Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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