I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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