Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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