At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have aggressive nipples.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
