I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you had me at cake vodka
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
