You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
