remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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