my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
