I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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