you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
