Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
