Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize