i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
