Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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