i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
God I need to hump something, right now.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
