what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
