State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
