You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he shaved USA in his pubs
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
