take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
vagina is talking i cant
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
