That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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