I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
