Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
