I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
