Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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