Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
