you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
