There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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