shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
