those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
