ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
