sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
