all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.