yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
