Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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