Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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