There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
