i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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